Friday, March 12, 2010

An Identity Crisis

The last time that I posted I had the idea  that I would add to this guy in stages and make him look really cool. Well life doesn't work that way, and this guy didn't either. He is kind of like me, he is looking for an identity. 

Before I could get back to my project I was called to a meeting with my brother about making my parent's home more safe for them. They are getting older, 87 and 88, and they live in a house with stairs everywhere. We worry about their safety, but they fight us at every step. We try to take care of them, but they don't want our care. So my brother builds more banisters, and the conversation about real planning gets put further to the back burner. This particular conversation with my parents went okay, but we really got nowhere, as we usually get nowhere.

I came back home ready to work on my project, but something had happened. 
At first I thought the face was going to be an American Indian and needed all the trappings to make him look the part. So I tried out a felted headband, but the colors weren't right, and the decorations made it look  like a crown of thorns. So I sewed in some feathers, twisting them into his felted hair. The whole thing ended up looking very "cheezy," so I took out the feathers and band and here he is with an "identity crisis", just like me.

A big part of my identify comes from my ability to do art, to make things, to make things look good. And my parents are some of my biggest fans and supporters. I am sure that somewhere in me the possibility of their loss weighs heavily. I also see myself as a problem solver, so why can't I solve things for my parents? And why can't I make this face look better? It is all wrong. My parents problems are for them to solve right now. They are still very capable. I can only make suggestions. As for my art...

 Where to go next, what to do, what path to take??? "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood"...and I sat down in the middle of the road and cried... 

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